


Please Just Stay

by Ryuichi



Category: Hakuoki: Edo blossoms, Hakuouki
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Heisuke's route, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 03:59:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15878082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryuichi/pseuds/Ryuichi
Summary: The burden on Heisuke's shoulders grows heavier with each day and you desperately try to think of ways to help him.





	Please Just Stay

You were lying in your futon, eyes shut, but mind wandering and going over the same thoughts for already the hundredth time. The sound of Princess’ Sen words still resonated in you. It wasn’t enough that Heisuke had to suffer all of the consequences of becoming a Fury, but now it also meant that the very power that had saved him from death many times, was now bringing death to him and fast.  
You couldn’t help, but wonder what all of that had to mean, why was it happening, how had Heisuke deserved such a fate. And more than anything, why was your own father responsible for such a horrible thing. It made you sick, and you felt like the reason for wanting to find your father now wasn’t so you could know he’s safe, but more so you could look him in the eyes and ask him why. That was the only thing you could do, it wasn’t much at all and you got reminded once again of your own inability and weakness. You wished you had at least half the strength Heisuke had, that way he could rely more on you. Instead he blamed himself that you were giving him your blood, but if that was the only way of keeping him sane, you’d gladly give up all of your blood if you had to.  
You sighed and stared at the wooden ceiling trying to think of some other way to help Heisuke; there had to be, just anything at all.  
It was clear that sleep wasn’t going to come to you any time soon, so you rose up from your futon and stepped out of your room. It was chilly, although you felt the upcoming spring, the smell of it had filled the air. The silence surrounding the courtyard was deafening and you realized that deciding to take a walk outside just made you more anxious rather than easing your mind.  
Your eyes drifted to the residence where Heisuke and Sanan-san lived and you felt your heart sink. A sudden memory appeared in your mind as you continued to ruminate on ways to help Heisuke. Your remembered when both of you were walking through the forest, trying to reach Osaka castle; back then, Heisuke had said that you being by his side helped him, that it was all the help he needed from you. And just like many other times you wondered if that was really true; it was possible that he had just said it, so you didn’t worry about him. It felt illogical to you. Why would just being around help him? You weren’t even doing anything most of the time, and you doubted your hollow words of encouragement meant anything. Wind gusted through the branches of the nearby tree and it suddenly felt like it blew away all of your doubts as well. You rubbed your temples and smiled bitterly at your own stupidity. Heisuke wouldn’t lie to you about such thing, he had never lied to you ever, for that matter. The answer to your doubts was simple, yet it had taken you months to realize it. Your head snapped up at the sky and a realization came over you. Walking around the courtyard wasn’t where you had to be, close to him, by his side, that’s where your place was, that’s what he needed. You composed yourself and determinedly set off to Heisuke’s room. You didn’t care for the Furies, or Hijikata-san and if you had to fight your way through all of them you’d do it without hesitation.  
The candles in his room were out and that worried you for some reason; he couldn’t had been sleeping after all, that’s what he had been doing all day. You swallowed the lump in your throat and opened the door. Heisuke was lying on the ground, his face facing the door; it was Heisuke’s face, but the eyes that landed on yours as soon as the door was opened, didn’t belong to the boy you used to know. For a moment, you thought he was suffering from the bloodlust, but his hair wasn’t white, his eyes weren’t red and the only thing you could read in them was not insanity, but something far more painful: desperation.

“Heisuke!”

“Ah…! Chizuru!”

Heisuke shot up from the ground, his eye wide as he stared at you.

“What are you doing here? Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I came to see you,” you felt your voice was shaky and heavy in your throat. You closed the door, sitting yourself down facing Heisuke. “And good thing that I did, you–”

“I’m fine, Chizuru,” Heisuke smiled, but his smile was so forced and insincere it made you angry. “I’m fine, so you better go and get some–”

“No!”

You nearly shouted. Heisuke was clearly taken aback by your reaction as you puffed your cheeks and threw him a glare.

“Stop that! Stop trying to pretend, not in front of me. I have no idea what is it to be in your place, but I know that you’re hurting, so stop it, please. You can tell me anything, anything at all, whatever it is in my power to give you I will, so… please…” Your heart was pounding, rendering you almost completely unable to hear your own words, tears blurred your vision, but you managed to grip Heisuke’s shirt as you spoke your last words at him.

For a while he just stared in your eyes, his expression completely unreadable or so it seemed. Finally, he laughed bitterly and put a hand on his face, but you managed to see a glistening tear roll down his cheek and fall on his shirt.

“I guess… now you know me too much, huh?” his voice was shaky as well, clearly trying to not give himself away that he was crying. “Man, seriously, I said you were slow but… guess I was wrong.”

Heisuke slowly put his hand down, his face distorted by grief and shame. He tried to appear brave despite all that but it felt like he could break any moment.

“I’m scared, Chizuru… I admit. I didn’t want any of this to happen, I just… wanted to fight alongside my friends and now everything is…”

You didn’t let Heisuke finish, but reached up and threw your hands around him locking him in a tight hug.

“Just tell me what you need,” you whispered.

Heisuke sharply breathed out his answer:

“Just… please, just stay here.”

His words, nearly a whisper and drowned by the tears, were so full of desperation it made your heart sink into the pit of your stomach. You laid his head on your chest and your arms locked around his frame. For a while, the two of you sat completely still as you listened to his breath escape his lip, shuddering every once in a while. Then you felt something wet slowly make its way through the fabric and to your skin. Heisuke was still crying.You searched for his hand in the dark, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“You’re so warm, Chizuru… Honestly, ever since I became a Fury I feel like my body is always cold. I guess that’s fitting for a dead man.”

“I’ll keep you warm then. Always.”

You felt Heisuke smile.

“Thank you.”

His voice sounded weak and deprived of the usual cheer he carried around with him. Heisuke was at his most vulnerable and you felt yourself wanting to protect him more than ever. A rather silly thought, perhaps, given that all this time Heisuke had always been the one protecting you. Your heart was breaking at the sight of him at that time, but you couldn’t help but feel a slight sense of happiness shimmering somewhere in your heart, because Heisuke trusted you enough to show you this side of him he hated most.  
The only sound in the room was Heisuke’s shallow breathing and you soon realized he had fallen asleep. You sighed, relieved, thinking that, perhaps, in his dreams he wouldn’t suffer as much as in reality.  
You slowly lied down on the floor, your arms still around Heisuke. You felt him shift a bit and murmur something that sounded like your name, but you decided not to ponder too much over it.  
With Heisuke so close to you, you felt yourself relax with every breath you took. Knowing he could die at any moment, you savored his scent that always gave you this sense of comfort you could never explain, you listened to the sound of his breath so calm and quiet. You snuggled in even closer, resting your chin on top of his head and closed your eyes, praying that you could find yourself this close to him once again for at least one more night.


End file.
